TGIF with Trepidation

Before I was a mom, I used to shout "TGIF" from the rooftops. Well, not really because that would require too much work. Getting the ladder out of the garage, finding the best part of the house to put it, hoisting myself on to the roof, balancing myself so that I wouldn't fall (and inevitably, I'd be wearing shoes with no tread) and then actually shouting! Which, depending on the time of day, may irritate neighbors. Then I'd have to get down, and we know that getting down is usually harder than getting up.

But now, there is no shouting. There is very little hoopla. If anything, the snooze button is hit a few more times, the shower is a little longer and I may brush my teeth just a bit more thoroughly.

You see, I work four days a week, and Thursdays are my day off. So after three days of work and I day home with my baby, it's hard to go back on Fridays. I always give him an extra hug and kiss and I linger a bit longer at the door. And then, as I walk to my car, I have to take some deep breaths so that I don't cry.

It's not that I give Nolan to Ms. Linda with great joy the other days of the week, because I don't. But for some reason, Fridays are hard. I think it's because I know what life could be like if I didn't work. The weekends are different. Dave's home, Ellen and The View are on (yes, sometimes I tune in - don't be a hater) and I can actually get dinner on the table before 7PM! And! Sometimes I can have a little bit of me time, which doesn't always happen the other days of the week.

So here it is, another Friday. I think that my overall mood is gloomy too because of the weather. It's gray and rainy. And because I heard Natalie Grant's Held on the way to work. That song gets me every time. And, actually,this week the news has been filled with agonizing child stories. Like this and this (which turned out good, but the recording is hard to listen to).

But I know that this rain is washing away winter's brown snow and that spring with all of it's warmth and beauty will be here soon, just like 5 o'clock will be here soon when I can go pick up my little Nolan bugger.