Working Mom to Working Mom

One year ago I changed jobs. It was my last day at YouthWorks and my first day at my new career: Stay at Home Mom. It was a pretty emotional week. I was saying good-bye not only to my friends and coworkers, but saying good-bye to what I had been doing everyday (minus weekends, holidays and vacations) for 10.5 years. Going to work. I was excited to become a SAHM. I was eager to get my household in order. I was excited for the change. But I was also mournful.

For 10.5 years I had been a working lady. Getting up early every morning, showering and going to work. Now, I am still getting up early every morning and going to work. (Notice that I didn't say showering...). But now my work is at my home. And my team? Not adults. Children. This last year has been good and challenging. I've learned a lot about myself and I'm continuing to learn about myself too.

I miss the accomplishments of tasks. My tasks now seem to never end. I'm always cleaning the kitchen (seriously, why is that?), picking up toys, picking up toys, cleaning the kitchen. I miss having conversation without being interrupted by "mommy, mommy, momm-Y!" I miss going out to lunch and being able to eat mine first. Warm. I miss listening to my music on the radio in the car. And I miss the potlucks that my team seemed to have quite often.

But I don't miss: deadlines, politics, crabby customers, the database, saying good-bye to my son every morning and saying goodnight a couple of hours after I picked him up. I don't miss not seeing him try new things, saying new things, or learning new things.

I am so thankful that I am able to stay home. I am so thankful that my husband has been able to work and has been able to provide for our family. I am so thankful that I get to be with Nolan and Rachel all day. There are days that I get frustrated, that I get crabby and think to myself (and sometimes verbalize) "I wish that I could go to work today", but the reality is, this is where I am supposed to be. And it is good.

I've learned that I do need to get some time for myself in order to be a better mom. So I'm joining MOPS - a program for Moms of Preschoolers. Perfect! I've learned how to get away without showering daily, and I'm learning how to take advantage of naps to shower. I'm learning how not to be too hard on myself. The kitchen may not always been clean, and that's OK. There may be toys all over the place, and that's OK. The bathrooms might be dirty, and that's kind of OK. At the end of the day, I need to ask myself...what did I do today to show love to my kids? To my husband? To my Lord?

This is a tough job. Tougher than any other job. But I love it. Especially those sweet moments when we snuggle in the rocking chair watching a favorite kid show (Backyardigans anyone?). And that didn't happen at my old job (nor should it!).