1,400 Calorie H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

Last summer I joined the Biggest Loser Online Club in order to lose some of those extra baby (#1 and #2 and newlywed) pounds. I did it faithfully for, oh, 2 days. And then on and off for one month. And promptly cancelled my 3-month trial membership as soon as I could. I'm not really good at follow-through on this sort of thing. I always start with good intentions, but that's about where it ends. I mean, I talk about it, tell others that I am going to do it, but it just never happens.

In September, or so, I joined myfiitnesspal.com. And, as quickly as I joined this free (thank goodness) tool, I was done (but still had an account). So, today, in order to accomplish my 2012 goal of getting healthy (my goal is to lose about 30 pounds - a goal should be attainable and a stretch) I logged back on. Ugh. It's just after lunch and I only have 666 calories left (I don't think that it's a coincidence that it's the dreaded devil number). And , we're going out to dinner tonight to celebrate Dave's birthday (note, this remaining # does not count the cupcake that I will have...I already added that to the count. So this # is for my meal. At a restaurant. Oh, Lord, help me.).

1,400 calories (I thought I'd give myself wiggle room and not do 1,200) is simply not enough! I had a bowl of organic cereal (that has to be 1/2 the calories, right, because, come on, it is organic) with 1/2 cup of skim milk, coffee with skim milk, a banana, 1/2 an apple, and a turkey sandwich with only 1 piece of bread. That's it (and include my cupcake for later). All I am saying, is that this is going to be rough. A change of mindset. But I know that I can do it. My brother did it and he's lost 30+ pounds. He looks AMAZING! Granted, he worked out too, which is something that I need to also do. We're planning on joining a local gym and my grandparents have a treadmill that they said we could have. But it's the going. We bought new tennis shoes, and we have to use them, otherwise it's a waste of money.

A friend of mine has a theme for her life every year. Since I read her blog, I've been thinking of this concept. And the thought that keeps popping into my mind is selflessness. Taking the focus off of me as to why I do things and bringing the focus on to others. Why do I want to get in shape? Is it to look smokin' hot in a little black dress (well, yeah) but it's also because my body is a temple given to me to take care of so that it can be used - so that I can not only be here for my family, but also do things with them. I don't want to be the blob that just watches my kids. I want to play with them - run around with them, play tag with them, swim with them, etc. It's not about me, it's about them.

So, that's why I'll opt for a salad tonight (dressing on the side) and water to drink.